So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
