Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
