There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
are you so shy because you have an std?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
