Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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