Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
