i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
