Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
