You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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