i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
