Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
