you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
