Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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