I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
