just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
