Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
