whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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