I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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