3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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