i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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