hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
