ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
