Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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