you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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