I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
