How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
