WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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