And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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