so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
