you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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