If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
