splinters make it hard to masturbate
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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