he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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