im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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