Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
