I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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