he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
