the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
