Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
