Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
