I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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