I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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