the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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