This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
