Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
