What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
