My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
