RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
