I seem to have left my pride at pride
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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