Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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