I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
