I'm gonna have a badass scar
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
