you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
